A day

When August was two, I kept expecting the beginning of a challenging year. I had done all the reading and prepared for this stage of development but it never arrived. Then, a change, a complete change a few days after she turned four. It's being four that has been challenging. She's a baby with long legs one minute and an adult the next?

We were out shopping the other day and she told me to pick out some clothes because I needed new clothes. Yes, I do and she reminded me that I needed to look at some shirts. While I looked around she found several pieces she wanted me to try on. There was a flowy and flowery shirt, a denim skirt and she approved of the shirt I picked out telling me to tuck it into the skirt she wanted me to wear. In the dressing room she told me these clothes,"Look amazing!" We took some photos because I wanted to preserve the moment best I could. A few minutes later there was a meltdown and I'm trying to remember the reason and I truly cannot recall why she threw a tantrum in the dressing room. Something to do with...Hmmm. I only remember thinking:What happened to our picture perfect time together?

August is four. A few months back she'd tell me this sweet story of how she'd take care of me, cook me good good, feed me, put me in a car seat and drive me around town. Because this was coming from a sweet and romantic little soul. I thought she only wanted to care for me. Little did I know that this was the emerging ID who wanted to take over and if she could she would be calling all the shots and doing all the driving. She's quite the backseat driver complete with pretend steering wheel.

Two days ago she woke up too early. I encouraged her to remain in bed and hoped she would fall asleep because a sleepy August has falls and accidents and gets emotional and grouchy. We had a fun event planned and I wanted her to have a great day. But she insisted on staying up so we started our day a few hours earlier than usual. At our show, a wonderful children's musician who was performing at the library, she was suddenly very shy and crashing fast. She began to participate and stepped on the dress I suggested she not wear and tore it. I was happy she didn't fall over doing that. When she finally started to really enjoy herself she stepped on her dress again and fell over and busted her lip. Her cry was from embarrassment and pain and I just had to cradle her close to my chest and she was fine. Later, as we were leaving, she walked into a pole and had several more tiny meltdowns before the day was over. My poor kid. Tomorrow, she needs to sleep in.