The thread...

My Abuelita would tell me that at the age of two her great-aunts showed her how to knit and crochet. My Granmo told me that when she was three years old, her grandmother Eulalia would sit beside her and give her something to embroider. August has been curious when she has seen me sew, knit or crochet. However, it wasn't until we were cutting through an aisle of the craft store that she stopped me and said,"Mommy, I want to do that!" She was pointing to the wooden embroidery hoops and floss.

"How do you know about this, August?" She didn't answer and continued to jump and excitedly point to the hoops saying only "This, this, this!" While I own embroidery supplies I have not worked on anything in five years and she hadn't even seen my supplies because I haven't unpacked them. We had seen photos of completed pieces on Instagram and I thought maybe this was her introduction.

She picked out floss and I chose the smallest wooden hoop. Once we got home she wanted to begin right away. I cut some canvas from my stash and showed her how to place it in the frame. Then she threaded the embroidery needle with her little hands and we began. I could feel myself melting into the couch. It was relaxing watching her carefully and slowly take the needle in and out of the fabric. I also felt a connection to the long line of women who had brought us to this moment.

I had to take photos because I didn't know when she'd want to do this again. Her first embroidery project. It lasted thirty minutes or so. When she felt the project was complete, we put it away but I kept returning to it. I even carried it in my purse during a week of errands just because. She asked for her embroidery bag again and I showed her how to make little stitches and she enthusiastically worked on that. With  each stitch she gave herself encouragement. I took photos to print and send to my Granmo.

My Granmo showed me some baby clothes she had made for my father one summer. They were simple pieces made from white cotton muslin. I asked her how she made the elegant designs on the front of each piece and she showed me how to pull thread. The next day she had a piece of white cotton fabric and showed me an easy pattern. I know how to pull thread. It doesn't feel good knowing how to do something then never using that skill or passing it on.

Its  been a month and she hasn't asked to embroider. She has been asking me for a sewing machine. I have been working on her Halloween costume. She'd pick up the scraps and sit under the table while I sewed on my machine and she sewed using her pretend machine made of blocks. I remember doing this beside my mother while she sewed.


The Dragonfly Song

Dragonfly, dragonfly, who's chasing whom today?
Dragonfly, dragonfly, inviting me to play.
You're a kite, a funny sight as you zig zag above my head.
You're a funny helicopter, that never seems to land.

Dragonfly, dragonfly, I love to run with you.
Dragonfly, dragonfly, I feel like I'm flying too.
I wish you would, if you could, come fly and twinkle with the moon.
Under the stars with you, would be a wish come true.

~ By Mommy, for August

Little Windows

The ophthalmologist told me I had to continue to wear glasses... at least for a few more weeks. It's only a few weeks that make up one month and then another. There are several pairs of unattractive, cheap glasses around the house because they were something I only wore at home. Once my day was done and my contacts removed and stored away, I'd slip on my glasses. I never wore them out, not even on walks. I find them uncomfortable, impractical , cumbersome, isolating... They make me feel like I am inside something looking out. Little windows that sit in front of me from which I cannot fully take in everything around me. They make me feel shut in.

I can't think right wearing glasses. I can't see or think at all without them. My mornings started when I put on "my eyes", my contacts. I was ready to start my day. Glasses seemed to prolong the process of waking up, not really starting the day because I am unable to feel something, somehow. Most people reach for coffee, I would go put on my eyes. It was more than a transition. Contacts took me out of a blurry world that is annoying and confusing, like being in a dream, or perhaps, I dream completely out of focus. Contacts put me in the real world, a clear one. Glasses don't remove me from a world they allow to look into the one I'd like to be in.

A morning of frustration led me to finally cutting my hair. Having to style my long hair around a pair of glasses only worsened my mood. Without thinking too much I just started cutting. It felt great! It made wearing glasses a bit easier. Now, to pick out a pair of stylish frames. Viewing the world through these little windows is an experience I'll learn to work with.