It's the kind of mess...

While in the middle oft trying to clean the kitchen after lunch and at the same time picking up several rooms, I remembered I wanted to print out a few things off Pinterest. So I stopped dealing with messes. In doing so I ran across a cute photo of a handmade stuffed kitty in a giveaway and then patterns for hand puppets. In my highly disorganized and distracted state, I went to the hall closet and pulled out the felt and embroidery thread. I set out to make a kitty puppet because August had just said she really loved that  handmade stuffed kitty. While I couldn't whip up a stuffed animal without buying material, I was able to create a cute little felt copycat in puppet form.

August was long gone. She was dragging back the blocks I had just picked up from the living room floor, while I put together something I wasn't at all sure was a big waste of time. It was definitely creative procrastination. I messed up the clean dining room table in seconds. Felt pieces and thread falling on the floor I just swept. I thought, this is definitely a form of procrastination and prolonging my list of messes to clean. I always want a clean house by Friday.

The result brought a smile to my face. I loved what I just made. While it wasn't wholly original, I did copy the face, I was happy with what I whipped up in just a few minutes. My child, who I thought wasn't paying attention, actually was and came running saying,"It's finished, my kitty is finished?" She grabbed it from hand and said,"I love her, Mommy, thank you, lets play!" So we did. When Papi came home she proudly showed him what I made for her.

I then picked up the space and returned it to a dining room table. The rest of the house eventually fell into place at a slower pace but I was newly recharged. I felt good, better. I have to make something, anything, every day I need to bring out scissors and glue or thread and fabric and just make something. Long projects requiring several days of dedication don't come along often but I did recently make myself a shirt. I have made the biggest messes but in those creative messes comes complete relaxation and recharge. If a mess makes you happy, then by all means make that happy mess.

Confettti, Bubbles and Paper Dolls

I have often thought of ending this blog and starting all over again with the blog title:Confetti, Bubbles and Paper Dolls. For me it captures where I seem to be at the moment, the colors, the festive activities, bubble blowing under blue skies and the endless parade of paper dolls we seem to have around here lately. "Lately" is the key word. It will all change... eventually. August has already said that she no longer wants to be a Fairy Princess Ballerina when she grows up but a teacher. I was impressed but a little piece of my heart cried for the recent loss of the noble Fairy Princess Ballerina profession that she had created.

School is around the corner and I find myself with the very same butterflies I had when I was four and told I was to start school in a year. I remember how it would fill me with anxiety because I understood it as a loss of freedom. No more playing, no more Mommy all day long, no more baby brother. I didn't find the idea of a teacher, new children and being in one place all day long very exciting. I was a shy kid who enjoyed my very own land of make believe that would take off after I'd watch Mr Rogers. I spoke and danced with trees, I would often fly, my tricycle would kick up dust as I traveled from one universe into another using "freeways", I'd chew on clover and play with rolliepollies, mud pies...

Every morning I wake up to this little voice who has all these plans for the day. Our mornings have these sweet and gentle starts. Her plans usually get carried out but when they don't because I'm tangled and knotted up with busy work phone calls, paper work and unhappy errands to do...I get that anxious feeling. Exclusive August & Mommy days will be especially missed by me once they are gone. I'm in no hurry to send her off to school. So when she wants to make paper dolls, we make paper dolls. Sometimes we try to send them to space.

Getting back to the title of this blog, I just realized: Beatsville, beat, it's still fits. She has now said that she wants to be a Ballerina Teacher.


It's hard for me not to play with this circus that we got for August last year. This music box just makes it even more magical for us. I hope to create felt flags and find some way of making a tightrope.

I find it hard to stop playing with toys and dolls. Reading about Tasha Tudor and her marionettes, doll houses and miniatures has been all too encouraging. We have also been submerged in the world of Beatrix Potter as well. If I could, I'd create Duchess and Ribby puppets so we could re-enact the whole patty pan incident that August finds so hilarious. One of my favorite things to do with August is read her new stories from the large Beatrix Potter treasury book.

This weeks errands and important business calls have taken me away from the playtime I'd love to participate in. I would truly enjoy a day of making clothes for some dolls and bears. I'd love to visit the toy store and find a friend for Lottie. It would be great to have the king and queen as special guests at the circus and find more music boxes for new circus acts. I also have paper dolls I need to cut out...

Of course, I play differently than she does. I remember what it was like to be in a world of real toys when I was a child. While I can still play with dolls and blocks, childhood is gone and I can't get back to where she is. I can pretend and be who she wants me to be but I can't see it how she sees it. No matter how much I would like to or even think that I am back there again...its just not there like it use to be and that's how it is. That's the magic of childhood.