Sew there was this kid...

My sewing machine is broken and the town has no one who services sewing machines. That explains all the old and new sewing machines scattered among the thrift stores in town. They are bought, taken home, then donated to a new shop within a few months. I have seen one travel this route. I have often been told that I should take on more creative endeavors and maybe create my own business. I just have never felt like the entrepreneurial type. Even when I had a rather successful website, the minute I transferred over to Etsy, it was all over. It lasted a year or so, but I never made enough to quit my day job. I love the security of a day job. I made some money writing, some money knitting hats, and some money selling purses I made. But the bulk of my income has always been from a day job, preferably working for a university. So I still work for a university, it's where my people are, my tribe. 

So back to the sewing machine...I have several and none of them are working, the last one has stopped. I have unloaded the others but will hold on to this last one because it was the one my mother used to sew all of my clothes. Next time I am in Austin, I will drop it off at the sewing machine shop and have it serviced. However, when asked what is the one thing you wish you could do all day, the activity that you can't walk away from, nothing was coming to mind. I have many interests and hobbies, but all day desire to continue? It took two weeks to think over this question and the answer was sewing. It took two weeks because when I think of sewing I think of messing with a machine for several hours, then needing to go to work, feed my child or just being frustrated and having to walk away. 

How often have I walked away from sewing? The thing is, I was never really sewing. I was mostly pulling out a seam I just made because the tension was bad and it was unraveling, there was winding the bobbin again because maybe that was the reason for the thread breaking every ten stitches, and there was going to the store to purchase new spools of thread, new needles, and an oil kit because maybe that was the issue. There were very few times in the last five years that I was actually sewing. Even then I have several pieces to show for my perseverance, patience, tenacity, and dedication to a project. I kept trying despite all the frustrating obstacles, I made it work and I was happy with the results. So to reward myself for getting through past frustrations, going way back to 2005, further back to 1995 when I borrowed a bad machine. Let's go further back to the first machine I ever had, the Sew Perfect Sewing Machine that had the needle and thread in a cartridge and would always come undone and no one could fix it because it was in a plastic case. I either had to get my parents to purchase an $8 cartridge or abandon the project. Then it worked on DD batteries and once they stopped working... So to reward myself for all the years of trying so hard to sew and sticking to sewing even though it seemed to always hate me, I am purchasing a brand new, all metal geared, high-end sewing machine. One that will always be ready to go. I haven't decided if it will be industrial or not but it will be Japanese and it will be loved. 

I don't know why I never did this before, other than I probably thought I didn't sew enough to be worthy of a brand new, high-end, sewing machine. There was the lower middle-class parent lecture, "If I get this for you, you better use it because I don't have the money to buy this, this will be a sacrifice I am making so you better use it, you better practice, you better, you better..." The pressure was always too much. I'd always say, "Forget it" and I really would move on, having been convinced by my parent's speech that they knew me better and I wasn't dedicated or serious enough. The fact that I'd never cry about it confirmed to me that they were right but it manifested later in different ways. The inner child is real, tend to that kid!