I was reminded this week that:

I wanted to be a child star in the 70's. Yeah, I wanted to act alongside Kristy McNichol,Sparky Marcus,Jodie Foster, Tatum O'Neil, The Brady kids(actors), Benji and Muppets. I wanted to be on the Mike Douglas Show. I'd play "talk show" quite often(creepy when you see Rupert Pupkin do it but I was six so...). I started performing in front of the television at two. This is to say I would sing and dance while watching the Dolly Parton Show,Hee Haw,American Bandstand and Lawrence Welk.

I watched a lot of musicals with my mother, was a huge Our Gang and Shirley Temple fan and it all worked to fill my head with the "gumption" to shoot for the stars (hokey musical talk). In my young head Hollywood was like in it's Golden Age...the dream factory in constant search of the new thing. This is because tv ran many old movies in those days. I knew what acting was at a very young age. I did impressions and was pretty entertaining within my family. I begged my mother to put me in show business but she'd always throw Judy Garland at me. She'd say and I can remember verbatim, "There was a really talented girl name Judy Garland who was beautiful and went into show business and it ruined her and killed her. You don't want that, so no." UGH! It would only frustrate me, and I admit, make the whole thing look not so appealing for a few hours.

So I was limited to only dance recitals, Halloween costumes, Christmas pageants and whatever I could do with the sibs and a few neighbor kids. Not much. I didn't pine for the Hollywood dream but every now and then I'd daydream of how awesome I'd be. Seems like I was around a few kids who felt this way about their own oozing-with-talent selves. With Grease, Star Wars and Fame being so huge and having such cool kid stars around at the time, it seemed easy. My school talent shows brought out kids doing scenes from Grease and Cats and really drive home the fact that not everyone was destined. I was part of a dance troupe in the kindergarten talent show that did a number to the song Car Wash.

Once I left home at eighteen I didn't head straight for Broadway (teehee)like I thought I would when i was eight. I went to college to get an art degree. Once I was done with college I played around with the idea of trying acting for a short while. Got roles in student films, auditioned for whatever "big time" stuff came to town and came close once but eh....I figured who needs it all end up like Judy Garland except Hollywood isn't even gothicically fascinating anymore anyway. The moment was gone. I had lost that confidence and naivete, it was a Tom Cruise world. But I had a fun time playing film star as a kid. I am left with funny memories, a cool imagination and what I picked up in ballet lessons, tap lessons, jazz lessons, piano lessons Summer puppet school and high school drama and my soul still intact, Mom!