Disclaimer- This is about me getting mushy about my kid

These past three months or so with August have been truly delightful. This is a word I have rarely used to describe anything until now. Delightful definitely describes all feelings and emotions accurately. She is this little person who is learning to get along in her world and it's a process I find tremendously fascinating.  I have always loved watching how children learn. On Saturday mornings, when I was eleven or twelve years old, instead of cartoons, I would watch the child development programs/documentaries on PBS.  What I learned from them has stuck with me all these years. I watch August as a mother but I also watch her as one interested in how humans learn and grow. One thing I remember so well from those old programs was how a mother's love changes a child's developing brain. Mothers are important, love is powerful.

Over the last several weeks, August has become more friendly and says hello to everyone and to many things around her like ant hills and trees. She wakes up quite happy every morning but not so chipper after napping. Her kisses, smiles and hugs are the best I have ever had and they are these tiny gifts that now fill our days. Her personality continues to evolve and become more and more complex. I thought, if only we could go back and watch ourselves taking shape, I think we'd appreciate ourselves and who we are more. 

The sandbox at the park was so scary for August. I thought it was probably the idea of a sinking ground. How uncomfortable it must be to feel like the ground beneath you may not hold you. Today she threw her beach ball into the sandbox, reached for her Papi's hand and walked into it, slowly, carefully, looking at the sand and watching her feet sink into it. She did this over and over, taking my hand or Jacob's hand. Within minutes, the fears of the sandbox had been purged. Maybe that isn't what she felt but it reminded me of a fear I had of falling through the earth. I was told if I dug deep enough I would reach China. Soon after hearing that, I had a fear of holes and cracks in the soil. I could fall all the way to China, a foreign land, away from my family and everyone I loved. Would they ever find me and rescue me again? I'd be lost forever. Eventually, fun adventures would fill my head as my imagination became less fearful of such things. 

Today we also managed to get August to try swinging on her tummy.  I was proud of her for giving it a chance. She still reaches for us when she wants to go down the slide. Going down the slide alone is a big step that she hasn't taken yet and that's just fine.  I am not quite ready for it either. Her favorite amusement is by far the merry-go-round followed by the rocking, bouncy horses, both of which scared me and made me nervous to see August ride at first but I am also becoming a bit more brave.  She went from sitting to standing on the merry-go-round.

What I have found to be most gratifying are the sudden bursts of discovery August has. Sitting at play she suddenly jumped up and came running holding the letter F from her foam floor mat and said,"This is a F". She then started pointing out other letters: J, X, B O, Y, M, N... Each time shaping her mouth in a curious way, teeth showing, jaws working in ways we had not seen until that moment and with the biggest, most proud smile ever. Then, she dragged out her alphabet book and wanted to go through it with us and pointed out B, C, P... It was a moment I will never forget, huge, and on a quiet Thursday night when I thought that our day was ending and not expecting anything.

When she loves what I make for her to eat she rewards me with a kiss. Mexican rice is her absolute favorite and then there is cactus and recently she surprised us with her love for onions. Each piece of onion brought on watery eyes, a slight grimace, and a sniffle but she kept reaching for another and another then smiled.  We have started adding a bit of pepper to her food and she didn't seem to mind the slightly spicy, guajillo chili sauce on her chicken. She loved the taquito I made her. It was the first taquito she's ever had and ate it while sitting on my lap. 

Yesterday she took the sunglasses off my head then proceeded to wipe them clean using her petticoat. She did this so smoothly, no fumbling. She then handed them back to me as if she'd done this all before, for years. When I taught her how to play the memory game I didn't know how much of it she'd grasp. I was tickled to death when she picked it up after just one lesson. Learning the game and the whole matching thing was more than enough. I have learned to expect anything and try everything. Well, I have learned to really expect anything and really, really try everything. Looking forward to board games. 

Watching August's ever increasing awareness of her world, her personality taking shape and unfolding is daily, it's constant and exciting. I also love being in touch with other mothers and their toddlers through emails, photos and blogs and learning of their experiences. When August reaches for my hand at the park, I am helping her along but she's leading me to yet another epiphany, inspiration, piece of my own childhood or simply the sweetest moment in my life to date


Blogger Francesca said...

it is wonderful to read about your discovering motherhood, Tera.
about the hot, spicy food, we're all very sad that Rebecca at 7 still doesn't like it, as we're all fond of it. I still will make spicy meals, but have to also make a special meal for her, which adds to the work, and so that I don't cook spicy food as often as we'd like.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014  
Blogger moonshinejunkyard said...

"I thought, if only we could go back and watch ourselves taking shape, I think we'd appreciate all ourselves and who we are more."

I love this so much. I love the way you think and the way you perceive early childhood. To figure out what about the sand it is that frightens her, makes it a more complete picture, makes the world just a little more understandable for both her and you. It really is so fascinating to see them grow and develop, take it all in. Lucy surprises me all the time with things she's picked up that I never expected she would "get."

She's a funny one with parks and rides. She gets braver when she sees other kids (preferably around her size) do things. She comfortably went down the slide again and again (alone) out of the blue one day when I met up with two of my girlfriends who have three year old boys who were sliding. Then the swing we hung in our backyard. That sucker really flies! I thought she'd be way terrified, but her cousin Utah rode it first, gleefully, and she hopped right up when it was her turn, and never looked back. Swooping broadly through the spring air is her absolute favorite activity now. But the carousel...that was a different story, even though Utah was there riding a nice pony. She just couldn't handle it when the ride started. We moved to one of the stationary benches and she did just fine there, but took it all in with big, solemn eyes.

I love your writing. I, too, enjoy learning about other toddlers and mamas and their adventures online. You and August are two of my favorites of course :)

Sunday, March 30, 2014  
Blogger Tera said...

Francesca, it is an ongoing discovery. I still awake every morning and think, wow, this is MY baby :)

Sunday, March 30, 2014  
Blogger Tera said...

@Moonshinejunkyard: Thank you so much, this is a big compliment. We are a mutual admiration society :) That swing you have is something magical, ha! August and I watched the video over and over, we loved Lucy's little sounds, so much fun xo

Sunday, March 30, 2014  

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