Dwelling on Dwellings

It is hard for me not to notice the dwellings in this town. I have lived here 18 months and passed the same houses over and over and they have yet to become invisible. They range from turn of the century mansions to tiny, crooked structures made of wood. Both interest me.

Things are not what they seem. Recently a rather large home on a well to do street was flipped. Photos show that inside it was a time capsule and had not been remodeled in 40 years or so. The once well to do family that I thought was still living there had given up on the home and it was a foreclosure with the remaining owner in a nursing home until her recent death. The photos showed old, dirty carpeting, leaks and water damage, mold along windows, old bathrooms with toilets that had to be shut off. The resident had only been living in a small corner of the home for years. The only hint of this was an unkept yard, otherwise, it still seemed to promise a functional and more less contemporary interior. Now it boasts the newest kitchen appliances and bathroom features, large picture windows and a trendy landscaped yard. It was advertised as having had one owner. It made me wonder how many of these mansions and large houses aren't what they seem to be and now I view them with a keener eye.

I have also noticed people living in what were once gas stations or restaurants, churches or bus depots. Then there are homes that looked like they were quickly and cheaply built, decades ago, still standing, though quite dysfunctionally. It is these homes that leave me wondering about the residents and past residents. How comfortable can one be in a dwelling that requires so much energy?What does it do to the spirit to feel cold in the winter and hot in the summer and paying utility bills that can't be afforded. Where there isn't enough space to accommodate who you are or want to become. Where  just trying to cook requires several unnecessary steps because appliances don't work as they should or it's difficult to get to what you need because you can't simply open a pantry door. The upkeep of these structures is more than the owners and previous owners can handle so the structure is in active decline, surely exhausting the homeowners or tenants.

What sort of person does this dwelling create? Or what are the effects of it? How much better could someone's life be if only they lived in a home where most everything worked as it should? How do we all feel browsing home interiors and eyeing neat and tidy interior spaces? I feel it is very necessary to live in a space that is roomy and tidy and receives much natural light. I remember how it was living in an apartment that had a wall that leaked and how upset I became when it ruined a piece of antique furniture that I had been given.  I remember how it felt moving from one rental home to another in Austin and all the newfound optimism there would be in living with a wood floor or cute built ins. I found that it shaped my mood more than I had liked. Sometimes it felt my luck with money and jobs improved simply by moving into a new space. I started to notice that, coincidentally or not, apartments gave me better times in love and life than vintage rental homes despite how much I enjoyed living in an old house. Logically, I saved money on utilities because apartments were more energy efficient and easier to heat and cool. But then there were those other things I couldn't really explain. How my relationships would sour when I lived in a rental house but thrive when I lived in apartments. Looking back I can see those old Austin rentals required more cleaning and then the drain on finances I didn't see back then. Coupled with having to work or nasty landlords that wouldn't readily make repairs, I probably wasn't in a mood to tolerate much else.

I think of the ease of living one could have in a place they call home versus the struggle when living in a space where daily tasks require so much more energy and steps than the occupant can muster, It can affect so much of who we are. Who would we all be in the perfect dwelling? Mr Gage would tell me he would be so bored if he did live in a place that didn't need repairs because he enjoyed working on his house and did so until his death. But my energy is instantly siphoned out of me when I can't get a pantry to look new and clean despite my best efforts.  once lived in a place with a stained bathtub and it bothered me that no matter how hard I cleaned it never looked clean. I think those that can replace their own broken toilets have super powers. I would love to have that knowledge. I have seen all to many times do-it-yourself projects not go as planned and create new or worse problems down the line.

Sometimes home ownership is so desired that a person will make whatever they can a home and love it despite the difficulties. I admire this but it also saddens me. To quote It's a Wonderful Life: "This rabble you’re talking about, they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath?" What could a community be with user friendly dwellings?