I have often thought of ending this blog and starting all over again with the blog title:Confetti, Bubbles and Paper Dolls. For me it captures where I seem to be at the moment, the colors, the festive activities, bubble blowing under blue skies and the endless parade of paper dolls we seem to have around here lately. "Lately" is the key word. It will all change... eventually. August has already said that she no longer wants to be a Fairy Princess Ballerina when she grows up but a teacher. I was impressed but a little piece of my heart cried for the recent loss of the noble Fairy Princess Ballerina profession that she had created.
School is around the corner and I find myself with the very same butterflies I had when I was four and told I was to start school in a year. I remember how it would fill me with anxiety because I understood it as a loss of freedom. No more playing, no more Mommy all day long, no more baby brother. I didn't find the idea of a teacher, new children and being in one place all day long very exciting. I was a shy kid who enjoyed my very own land of make believe that would take off after I'd watch Mr Rogers. I spoke and danced with trees, I would often fly, my tricycle would kick up dust as I traveled from one universe into another using "freeways", I'd chew on clover and play with rolliepollies, mud pies...
Every morning I wake up to this little voice who has all these plans for the day. Our mornings have these sweet and gentle starts. Her plans usually get carried out but when they don't because I'm tangled and knotted up with busy work phone calls, paper work and unhappy errands to do...I get that anxious feeling. Exclusive August & Mommy days will be especially missed by me once they are gone. I'm in no hurry to send her off to school. So when she wants to make paper dolls, we make paper dolls. Sometimes we try to send them to space.
Getting back to the title of this blog, I just realized: Beatsville, beat, it's beatitude...it still fits. She has now said that she wants to be a Ballerina Teacher.
